So, that well-known saying ‘two’s company…’, Hmmm, well when you have as many friends as I have who drop by without notice, you become somewhat relaxed about how many people it takes to make a crowd! Some days, five makes a nice little bedroom party and plenty of story details for yours truly and my books.
I hate it when people say they’ll do something or will meet up and never do. I’ve found it much easier to give my friends the option to just turn up at my place whenever they like. If I’m not there, they can give me a call, and I get my neighbor to let them in if they’re staying. My French neighbor always gives them the once over, pretending to smell the air they occupy, but eventually lets them in. It also gives her a chance to have a nose around, no harm there.
My sister Geneva and I had the coolest home while growing up, all our friends would come to our house in the summer. Mother was more relaxed at that time in our lives and would entertain all of us. Kids would say their parents didn’t want them or their friends around so they would all turn up at our place.
That’s where I got my idea, ‘hey turn up whenever you want, it’s an open invitation,’ and it does have its perks!
My new squeeze, Juliet, had found all the secret ways into my home and my heart and when I got calls from my little Swedish package Betty (her nickname), letting me know she would be down to see me at the weekend and I was grinning from ear to ear. Juliet was hopping with her spellbinding energy too and couldn’t wait to meet her.
My sister would be going back to England for five days giving us the whole place to ourselves. Not that she has been anywhere near as uptight as she used to be, she’s been quite cool in fact, and I would be missing her company especially during our ‘No Effing Way’ lunches as we had grown to call them. Lunch was where we would tell each other what we’d been up to and no effing way was usually the response we gave each other.
It was just as well she was going to be away. Geneva still doesn’t like Betty after what she did to me when we were younger. The scar on my shoulder and back is a constant reminder of how passionate she can be. She does get me though, and when the sh!t hits the fan, she would fly to the other side of the world to rescue me. Juliet was much the same and helped me to keep my mind off Hugo.
We had it all planned. Juliet was working, and Betty and I would meet her at her club for the last hour and drive her home. It was going to be one of those upside-down weekends where we would sleep during the day and be awake all night. I never sleep, so nothing new for me. Betty would do anything for a good time. We were set.
Juliet and I dropped my sister at the airport and then went shopping to kill a few hours before Betty’s flight came in from New York this time, and not Stockholm which threw us out a little.
And then everything started happening at once.
My neighbor rang and told me someone had turned up at my place. Oh God, I thought, had I got Betty’s travel plans wrong?
“No, it’s the other singer,” my neighbor said, the one that was here last month. Wait how did she know that?
Anyway, she must have shoved the phone at her, “Hey babe, you told me to turn up anytime, where are ya?” “Hi.” Was all I could say. My perfect weekend for three had grown and two out of the three party guests were rivals. Oh cr@p!
Zee (this is her made up name and all I can tell you) had turned up out of the blue. I told her to come whenever she wanted, but we’d been talking almost every other day on the phone and she’d not hinted at all.
Not that long ago she’d introduced herself to me at a private party wearing only a mask with a story of a mutual friend, who happened to be Betty. When I mentioned her to Betty, she was not happy, and we never spoke about it again. Now she was here, and Betty would be too soon, fŭck!
“You still there?” she asked. “So, I thought as Hugo wasn’t around so much, I’d come over and keep you company for the week.”
For the week!!!
I told her what to do and ended the call, Juliet was eager to help. Betty was landing in just over an hour, and I had another problem too. Some guy was trying to get my attention, he’d rung twice and now sent a short text message that made no sense, I text back, could you be any more cryptic?
And then I received war and peace from the mystery texter, and my world became a whole lot better.
It was one of Hugo’s army friends, he’d stopped messaging in code and spilled the beans. Hugo had 48-hour leave and was on a transporter plane heading for an Italian air force base, and he’d only just got on the flight within seconds of take-off, leaving his friend to send a message. If I remembered rightly from what he’d told me, the base was just over a three-hour drive from where I lived. I’d make it in under three.
Hugo’s flight time was 7 hours, and he’d been in the air for an hour already. I’m at my best in moments like this, problems, hell no. This was going to be a military operation now, and we needed to collect Major Hugo from Italy. No time for bìtching party guests. They would have to play along and wait in line.
It had been four weeks to the day since I’d seen Hugo in the flesh, and I wasn’t going to let anyone spoil this adventure. Hugo had met Betty and Zee before but on different occasions. Juliet was still grinning when I told her we were going to spend the afternoon in Italy picking him up and that just left me to work out how many hours we’d have together.
A total of 20 – 22 hours flying and driving. I could get us all to the base and back and then drop Juliet off at work. Our plans would change slightly, but she was up for it. I had no time for drama, and I was straight to the point with Betty as soon as she came through arrivals. She bìtched a bit and then saw how happy I was when Hugo’s name came up. She was on board and was always a big fan of my crazy adventure. This just left Zee.
Zee didn’t want seχ with my boyfriend last time they met. And I had to break the news to her that even though she’d come to comfort me in his absence, he was, in fact, going to be in my bed and if she were going to stay she’d have to get in line. I wasn’t sure it was going to end well with her.
I’d talked it over with Betty, and I didn’t like the look on her face either. I made an excuse and took a private stall in the airport bathroom to ring Zee, Betty was no help at this part.
“Oh, hey you, I’m taking a swim in your pool, n@ked. Are you going to be long?”
“Yeah, I might be, it all depends on you.”
“I’m listening.” My mouth widened a little further.
After running around getting Juliet’s passport and loading two moody singers in the back of my Mercedes SUV we were on our way and soon over the board into Italy. We passed some of the most beautiful Mediterranean coastlines you could ask to see, and then the arguing started.
It got so bad in the backseat I had to pull over and tell them both off like I was some middle-aged mother. Juliet was gabbling away in French to me and giggling when silence finally fell. She reminded me of the school girl image I have of her when we first met, she’s 25 but looks 15 most of the time and right at this point I resemble my own mother. I butted my head onto the steering wheel and exhaled through tight lips.
“We’re sorry,” my squabbling brood said from the back. “I’m not your mother, so will you please k/ss and make up for fnck sake,” I screamed, my face was on fire, I’d gone too far. I pulled away with Hugo in mind. Hopefully, we would arrive there in time to see his plane land.
I couldn’t look at either of them and drove grinding my teeth tight in my mouth. I wanted them along for the ride and for us all to be friends. Each one of them gravitated to me and each other because we are alike. My boyfriend was coming home, and I wanted to share him with them and give him the best homecoming present he could imagine, a car full of hoŕny women.
I could sense Juliet’s eyes on me. She had been a rock these last few weeks and was neutral in all this. She was my one true go-to person at the moment, a real keeper and I didn’t want to p!ss her off. I turned to give her a smile to break the ice.
Her mouth was curved upward, and she nodded to the back. I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw nothing. I made an adjustment, and yes, they were kissing and making up. Juliet’s hand steadied the steering wheel so I could take in the whole scene. This was going to be a great weekend. She climbed over to me and kissed me and told me she was calling in sick, she didn’t want to miss a moment of our naughty weekend, and I couldn’t blame her. I would write her note if I had to.
We arrived in time to see the RAF C130 land, it had to be Hugo. The gate Sargent wouldn’t let us in the base, so we had to wait outside the perimeter and who could blame him. Four women all with different passports, a Brit, a Swed, an American and a French woman, who at a second glance could have had a fake document.
I couldn’t slow my heart rate and had to get out of the car and walk around. We all did. Some Italian airmen came off-base and thought their luck was in, we were surrounded and giggling. My Italian is good enough to understand what was being said and I translated. The short interlude helped me calm down and then He was there.
Hugo was here, and I fell into his arms. Betty and Zee hugged him too, and I introduced Juliet. He’d seen her twice in our now rare video chats. We all hugged him again to cheers and whistles from the airmen with many pats on Hugo’s back. He was in full uniform with no luggage. He literally hopped on a plane in a second to be with me, and I couldn’t stop crying with laughter.
We got him home in record time, and he was treated like a homecoming hero with non-stop seχ and fun. He said he was truly the luckiest man alive and I believe him, because I know I am the luckiest woman alive to have him.
So, I let him have seχ with my friend, my other lovers… so what. I don’t give a sh!t what the world thinks. He’s my man, and he can do what the hell he wants. He certainly lets me and my other lover have no complaints. My only regret was that Freddie and Kevin couldn’t make it, their weekend was still to come.
I’m sorry I haven’t had time to bring you news on how you can gain access to my confessions just yet. Preparations are ongoing for the Cannes Film Festival after parties! I’ll keep you in the loop.
If you think your friends would enjoy a touch of our communal spiciness, please share it with them on Facebook, Twitter or perhaps in person, or by email. Yes, by email, forward it now and shock your friends, and let them sit or lie back (maybe) and enjoy it too.