You’re asked – bend over now before I change my mind!
Everybody’s Favorite Erotic Author….
You’re asked – bend over now before I change my mind!
What would you think or say if someone asked you this? How about if it was pitch black dark in the room you were in? You’d have only one reference point being the voice of the person speaking. Even then, would you comply if you knew them? What about if it was a total stranger and you were both naked?
I flew back to London this week for therapy. Although some of you may think I’m in constant need, and others might whisper behind their hands… I knew it, someone who was this weird and F’d up would need to see a shrink all the time…but, no not me!
I see or speak to my therapist once a month, and I’m getting pretty good at sorting out my own sh1t beforehand. My therapist and I see our sessions as a reaffirmation of my decision — she considers my life is pretty much in my control. Mostly, I speak with her on the phone for my sessions, because living in France generally buggers up our scheduling.
Anyway, before making a trip back to my hometown, I called her to make an appointment, and during our conversation — which went on longer than planned — she asked if I would help her out with a new group therapy class.
Yes and no, I replied.
I love the idea of group therapy and getting it all out there, but I’ve been there before and for all the wrong reasons. My sister Geneva told me I had a seχ addiction years ago, which turned out not to be true.
For one, seχ addiction is not a Thing, not to me anyway. Erratic and risky seχual behavior because of a high seχ drive is a Thing, but not an addiction to seχ itself. I had just over three months of weekly SA (seχ addiction) group therapy sessions and learned a lot about people during the time spent as a group.
So, when my therapist asked me to attend a group therapy session I was in two minds and said no. She expected this and asked if I wouldn’t mind listening to her proposal for just five minutes. I’m a writer as you know, and apart from my own life experiences, the next best thing is hearing about other people’s experiences. So, when a professional offers me something, I listen!
She wanted me to be a ‘silent assistant’ to her new group therapy class. The subject matter was suburban housewives who have taken a liking to a Fifty Shades of Grey lifestyle. There was a little more to it than that, but it was a filter by which many could relate to the subject matter in hand.
So, I sat and listened to women talk about their experiences in the bedroom.
I do share a healthy friendship with my therapist, and I think I’ll refer to her as Joan for the sake of this story — she was recommended to me, but then someone else called her a complete bitch which is why I nickname her Joan. I took a shine to her as soon as we met, bitch or not, she was on the ball when it comes to sizing people up.
Usually, being her last client of the day, we end up socializing afterward. We know the same people and we’ve shared stories over many a restaurant meal. I was pretty sure she knew me well enough to trust me as her assistant. For me, it was as if I’d struck gold.
I cannot give you any of the specifics of these sessions, of course, but what I can tell you is something which is interesting enough in itself.
Okay, so this particular session was unlike any you could imagine. None of the usual, ‘Hi my name is Jeff, and I’m a B.D.S.M. addict. There were 12 women and three men, and it could have been double that once the word got out.
I was introduced as an assistant, by my first name only and sat on the outside the circle looking in. I dressed down, wore my hair up and put on a fake set of reading glasses to play my part, which got a sideways smirk from Joan.
Firstly, Joan explained the purpose of the group. It was a session so that people could express themselves and share stories of their experiences, and in doing so, it would help them ascertain their beliefs and self-acceptance of their new found bedroom activities. Or do you like spank1ng? A comment put so succinctly by one group member, which caused much laughter in response.
With a show of hands, everyone had read the Fifty Shades books and watched both films. Required reading and viewing for this cross-section of society it would seem? Only three raised their hands when asked if they had gone further in their experience. It was a pretty broad question, and I took note of the three who I knew Joan would get me to focus on later.
The room had a vast range of people, from experts to amateurs — in their opinions — so they had us believe. One thing I know about people in groups like this, the truth can be a little loose. People lie.
Halfway through we had a break for coffee, and I avoided small talk as I had agreed with Joan before the session. THEY were on a break, but I wasn’t. I was still playing the role of the observer. I saw who flirted with who.
The second part went as planned and we finished an hour later than was scheduled. Joan and I continued our roles and waited for what happened next. The venue for our meeting was within a stone’s throw of a busy pub/wine bar. We already had a good idea who had had some Dutch courage before the session and who had made a comment about seeing others do the same.
Talk within the group as the session ended was that everyone had a drink in the wine across the street. Joan and I were invited as we had hope to be and went along. This is where Joan said I could be let off the leash — her words not mine — and not a very good choice of words either.
I’d already picked my subject. Enter Suzie. She was well-spoken, like the rest of the group, but she stood out. Blond and a little aged beyond her years from too much sun, but with a classic look which men turn to. She was tall, around my height and very confident and eye contact was easy.
She’d raised her hand in the group when asked if she played the dominant role in her bedroom relationship. I didn’t believe her I considered she had lied. But then, I could be wrong, and she might play both parts, I know I like to. But, Suzie had other markers which I thought were not quite right.
I was under strict instructions to not have seχ with any of them. Some – and I include both genders here — were giving telltale signs of wanting a little extra. There is always a secondary purpose to these meetings for some.
I let Suzie lead with the questions, and she was as direct as I am when I’ve had too much wine. Tonight, I’d only had two sips and so had Suzie. She knew I was from France and a so-called expert on seχ and spank1ng, spank1ng being the unelected and generic word for our subject matter.
She asked if personal questions were permitted and I nodded. ‘Do you sleep with women? I do and men and all at the same time when I want. Do you always get what you want? She continued.’ I do, although I don’t see it that way, if you all want the same thing then you don’t have to ask.
Interesting, are you single? Yes and no, my man is an army doctor, but we have an open relationship. I also have an ex-girlfriend who thinks we are still current. I was giving her as much information as I could in the hope of a fair exchange. I wanted to hear her story.
How many people have you slept with was the next question? I leaned a little closer to her and said, ‘I can’t tell you,’ which was entirely accurate. I could go back through all my journals and come up with a number, but I stopped counting a long time ago.
It is nowhere near a thousand, and I can’t honestly see how people can get to that figure, but it is over a hundred. If I made a list, I could tell you a little something about each one because I know them all. Only twice have I slept with a stranger, a complete stranger that is. I didn’t tell her my views on such acts, but I think she got the message by the small number of strangers.
Suzie was running dry on questions, so I asked if she would mind answering mine. Her smile told me everything as she nodded.
‘I like direct questions,’ she commented. And that is exactly what I had for her. Did you lie about your role as being the dominant one? No, she replied. But I was expecting this answer. You are married? Correct. Your husband likes to be submissive, but he’s not your only partner, right? She took a slight step backward away from me.
I put my hand on hers on the bar, ‘it’s okay we are only talking here, and anything you tell me is just a story or not if you don’t want to say anything.’ I looked at her face and could see she wanted to continue. My sister has the same look when she needs to tell me something. Suzie wanted to, and as the group meeting didn’t give her the opportunity to confess, she only had one other choice.
‘Will I be a character in one of your books?’ She asked. My mind instantly reeled backward to figure how she knew I was a writer. She squeezed my hand back and said, ‘it’s okay, I would love to hear about myself in a fiction character, please say you will?’
I upped the ante. ‘I only write hot stuff, so it better be good.’
With a relaxed face, she smiled with a full set of white teeth before she began her story.
Suzie (not her real name) is a character in an up-and-coming short fictional story and will be in my Confessions of An Erotic Author book coming out soon.
You want more on Suzie, I hear? Here’s a quick rundown on her and what she likes to get up too.
Suzie is married, and her husband confessed last year to having an affair. She decided to stay with him but thought it only fair to have a little fun of her own.
She has a high-powered job and a young personal assistant, who is almost ten years younger than her to the day. Her PA asked her for drinks after work when she shared the news about her husband. The drinks ended with them at a private club where Suzie and her PA reversed their roles. The PA became Suzie’s boss, and she says she now loved every minute of their time together away from work.
Suzie’s PA takes great pleasure in telling her what to do. She has also found a love of having seχ with complete strangers…and I mean complete strangers. Her PA has her bending over in a dark room with men taking her. She says she cannot get enough of it and her compulsive behavior therapy with Joan is focused solely on this act alone.
She had a serious question for me…’If you love it so much, do you have to give it up because other’s say it’s not good for you?
I had to agree with her logic. I also wanted the phone number of her PA, but I thought that might be pushing it a little too far.
Do you think you should give up something you love doing?
New Out from Kat Crimson: Dot Matrix: Mistress of the Stage
I love Kat’s stuff. She’s a great writer. I got my copy as soon as it was released on the 27th April
If you’d like to ‘Try Before You Buy’, there’s a link below to get the first three chapters for free.
And if you like it, Kat has a special ‘Early Birds’ price of 99 cents, but all this only lasts until 30th April.
SOME DOMMES ARE BORN, SOME ARE BUILT
Delilah Brooks is as much a dominatrix on stage as she is in the bedroom. An alcoholic, abusive father and a close call in a dark alley saw to that. Now Dee maintains control at all times. That is until a charismatic younger man comes along and threatens to wrest it from her with seduction and skill, instead of strictly by force.
Against her will, Marcus Hale ignites a fierce need in Dee she thought she’d buried a long time ago and reawakens a deep seated desire to be dominated and claimed.
How can Dee give up a control she spent her whole life working to obtain – especially to someone who is so young that she’s afraid to be attracted to him?
Marcus knows Delilah doesn’t want to give in, but he’s never given up on anything without a fight. He’ll use every weapon at his disposal to make sure she submits.
If you think your friends would enjoy a touch of our communal spiciness, please share it with them on Facebook, Twitter or perhaps in person, or by email. Yes, by email, forward it now and shock your friends, and let them sit or lie back (maybe) and enjoy it too.